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Some stuff I'm working on

Here's some bits and pieces of things I am working on for a forthcoming series of children's books. The cartoons are by Richard Shaller - thanks, Richard.

Keeping Really Dangerous Pets


Many people think dragons are evil, nasty creatures that burn whole villages. This is not true at all, dragons are warm, friendly types, that burn whole villages.

If you decide to keep a dragon, and you really should ask your parents first, you will need to make a dragon hutch. You can do this easily in a weekend - it should be made of solid steel, about 20 metres high and 30 metres long, with a perch for her to sit on. You should put some toys in the hutch for your dragon to play with - dragons like villagers best, but if you can't find any, they will be just as happy with a few teachers or perhaps a relative who gave you socks for your birthday.

In the summer you can keep the hutch in the garden, but in the winter you should bring it into the house. This might mean knocking some walls down - get a grown-up to help with this.

The Big Book of Lies

How the Dinosaurs became extinct

Long ago dinosaurs ruled the earth. They ruled the earth because they were bigger than everyone else and no one would fight them. Dinosaurs were very lazy and never went to school, they just hung around the shopping mall being rude to kind old ladies. Then there came the news of a huge comet heading for earth. This news was in all the papers, but as the dinosaurs couldn't read they didn't know about it, and of course, there was no TV then, so they never found out.

The newspapers said that when the comet came it would make the weather very cold. All the little mammals, who attended their lessons, read this and grew fur coats so they would keep warm. All the dinosaurs had were baseball caps (which, for some reason, they always wore backwards) and baggy shorts, so when the comet arrived, they all froze to death. This just goes to show that school is a good thing, even if it doesn't seem like it.

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